I could write an entire blog about beards, but for everyone’s sake I’ll restrict myself to a single post.
Facial hair is a topic hotly debated among women, but here are some basics that I think we can all agree on:
When in doubt, shave. You can’t go wrong without a beard, or even with a few days’ worth of stubble.
Manly stubble. (The bleached hair, however, is another matter.)
Once you cross over into beard territory, however, beware. Not all ladies dig it.
"Too much!" cries another blogger on this site, though I personally think it's just within the acceptable range...
Do NOT, however, attempt a beard of any size, shape, or form if you aren’t capable of growing a full one free of patches.
Patchy. (Also, could use a trim.)
If you can’t pull off a full beard, don’t broadcast the fact. We like to think that a man is capable, if he so desired, of growing a beard like this:
UNACCEPTABLE
BUT also that he has the good sense not to.
If you’re reading this, you’re probably desperate and therefore should stick to the above rules. Don’t monkey around with things like this:
Um...
…or even this:
Though personally I find this strangely attractive.
A final, but ALL-IMPORTANT note:
The amount of hair on your face should never exceed the amount of hair on your head.*
Typical Berkeley resident.
(There is also the critical matter of sideburns, which will be discussed in a later post.)
*VERY rare exceptions may be made for incredibly attractive bald men with well-groomed goatees. Don’t try it at home.
